I think I hit an important fasting marker

I woke up not being hungry. This seems to be important. Yesterday, I woke up with a headache, which apparently is common, so waking up without hunger means that I broke some unknown addiction. I am not the “cleanest” eater, so who knows what preservative, salt, or unknown sugar, that I was addicted to.

Note, I have done fasting in the past, but not a fast that limits me to water, tea, coffee. In the past, I have dropped dairy, sugars, or other such items. The Dairy fast left me hungry beyond belief, whereas the sugar fast turned me into a violent monster through the withdrawal period.

The sugar fast was the worst because sugar is in dang near everything. I ended up eating nothing more than cooked greens and meat. No sauces, no flavor shakes, nothing else except salt and pepper. I didn’t mind the food, but everything was causing me to lose my temper until the day before I broke my fast. The day before I broke my fast I suddenly had a calmness and clarity that I hadn’t had in over a year.

The reason I did the sugar fast is that I just got off of a multi-year drinking binge and found that I was easily brought off-kilter, and it was violent. I am just very glad and violence against a person is both abhorrent and sickening to me, except in self-defense. I believe this kept me from breaking laws. That pattern is so deep-seated that people hurting themselves would cause me to react to try to help them even if it risks myself.

This current fast was to fix some issues. Eating habits, gluttony, giving strength to my willpower, making sure I get critical things done. Most people see gluttony as food-related, but if you look at their life, it is full of gluttony. Meaning they buy and collect more than they need. They pursue things to just consume. They tend to be hoarders, and overweight. Much of what gets hoarded holds some invisible value to them, but other people just cannot see it.

I would get someone building scrapbooks and photo albums of their life and collect those. That is collecting and providing visual representations of their life. Proof of events. But then I’m starting to see my gluttony of collecting things that really have no value or benefit to me. The item hit my fancy, then I obsessed over it. These obsessions are like the perfect corn tortilla chip next to the spicy salsa bowl. I could not say no to it. I would consume to the punishment of myself and those around me.

Since I have been fasting, I noticed that I have stopped spending too. This is exactly what I wanted to happen. Praise God. If you follow His plans and His instructions, you get His benefits. In this case, His benefit is that I regain control over my life.

So when will this fast end? I don’t know. When I am done? Tomorrow, I have the Shabbat ceremony at the church, and there is always grape juice (I don’t drink alcohol anymore), and bread. That may be my fast break. On the other hand, I really want to push it through next week. But how much of that is my ego compared to what I really need to do.

I’ve been posting regularly since doing this, not so much to teach or promote, but to process what I’m going through, to keep my mind clear, and my goals visible.

  1. Goal: Break gluttony from its hold on me.
  2. Goal: Stop burning through cash.
  3. Bonus: Strengthen my willpower, by strengthening my comitments.
  4. Bonus: See where else I am carrying unwanted burden.

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