Why I hate Android.

No standardizations and the shittiest application consistency: Don’t think that this top 8 list is just Surface Duo. I asked others to make sure their new phones were up to date, and watched them pull out hair with their Samsung, and Pixel phones.

  1. It is unpredictable what or how various apps are going to present data.
    1. This is mostly in notifications. How many notifications to I have to look at, search through the who dumb app, find nothing to clear or do, close the piece of fertilizer and still show 3+ notifications!!!
    2. Closing a child window (Modal window). Hit back, and I lose the app. Hit outside of the modal, and I get a system window. Swipe and I get another STUPID window!!!! ALL I WANT TO DO IS TO CLOSE THE FREAKING MODAL DIALOG WINDOW!!!! FACEBOOK GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK MOBILE APP HEADS!!!!
  2. SMS, or what is now called MMS: Stupidest name change in the world. SMS 2.0 would have been better, and that would have been stupid.
    1. Pick a user from the shortcut screen (I cannot call it my favorites, because everything in there is the assumption of what I will text the most), and I cannot add a 2nd or 3rd person. WHY THE FART WOULD YOU GIVE ME THAT SHORTCUT SCREEN IF I CANNOT ADD MORE THAN ONE PERSON!!!
    2. From maps, I pick a person to send a push pin to…. WHY THE FRIED ZUCHINIES ARE 3 CONTACTS NOW SELECTED? OH they have the same number, let me open them right there and see! WHAT I CANNOT CORRECT FROM THERE!!!!! I HAVE TO GO WHERE!!! Fine, I will go to the contact app, and correct the error. WAIT!!! THEY DON’T HAVE THE SAME CONTACT INFORMATION!!!! WHY THE FART DOES THE SMS APP THINK THAT THEY DO!?!?!?! Oh this is the map app? It gets its data from where? Google you say? But MY CONTACTS ARE ALL IN GOOGLE!!! SO YOU LIE!!!!!!
    3. I got a push pin from someone else. Let me click on it, so I can go to that address. WHY ISN’T THE GOOGLE SMS TOOL, OPENING the GOOOGLE MAP APP to the ADDRESS THAT IS PINNED in the GOOGLE SMS APP?!?!?!
  3. I cleared my notifications… Yay. Wait they are back again?!?! Let me see. I have nothing new in the app, why do I have a new notification? Wait, I don’t get a log of why, or a nav on how to get to part of the app generating the notification? I HAVE TO GUESS MY WAY THROUGH!!!! ARE YOU FLIPPING KIDDDING ME??? DO YOU THINK THAT MY TIME REVOLVES AROUND FIXING YOUR GARBAGE FOR DESIGNS!!
    1. I consider all these customer abuse. But I will go on and talk about more.
  4. After decades now, we still cannot have a keypad that works for people over 6’ tall and are not twigs. I have to lift solid oak doors at times. These fingers do not get skinny. Which button is my finger over? If It was me deciding, I would pick the button that I covered with the top center of my finger, not that absolute middle or bottom center. Do you have any clue how many times my app had closed because I hit that stupid middle virtual button when aiming for the spacebar?????
  5. God forbid you should have the 3 button navigation turned on and get a toast message? It is always behind everything on the bottom? WTF was that message!!! Put that toast at the top, or use the phone’s notification service!!! Toast is Dumb-AF when you cannot see it.
  6. NO MORE UNWANTED SPYWARE!!! That means I don’t want google on my dang phone!!! Sure, I get it. Android is a google OS, but that is why iOS is apple, and YOU THREWW YOUR MARKET UNDER THE DANG BUS WHEN YOU TOSSED WINDOWS OUT THE WINDOW RATHER THAN CREATING COMPATIBILITY LIBS!!!
    1. Ok.. ok.. ok.. Maybe I should say that this may have been better as a Linux for Phone distro-with a droid compatibility or Amazon compatibility layer. Hell, I suspect Samsung would have been happy to put their store on your phone, as long as they got to keep the lion’s share of their profits.
    2. Also lets face it, google has lied so many times about privacy that anyone who trusts them is a fool. I mean a serious fool.
    3. I am normally very much against government intervention of private industry, so when I state that this is a clear case for Anti-trust and anti-monopoly lawsuits against Google, then I am serious, but I would rather that this be a civil suite filled by MS, Samsung, HP, Lenovo, etc. Break up Google.
    4. I used my phone for 3 days, and BAM 2GB of data used, mostly just trying to use the maps, ever so unsuccessfully.
    1. When you show me a map, middle of the night, or high noon, and tell me to go north, you better show me which way is north. HOW THE SPORK AM I TO MAGICALLY DERRIVE THAT INFORMATION OFF OF THE PHONE WITHOUT A COMPASS!!!!
    2. I have now had 8 smart phones, iPhone 3GS, Win 7, Win 8, Win 8.1, Win 10 (twice), iPhone 8+ (Because the iPhone 10 is too stupid to have a finger print reader, and I don’t trust facial recognition.), Now a Surface Duo. The only one I absolutely hated has been the Android, and because of the Android OS.
  8. Gestures up my [Alternate word for donkey]
    1. Go back up to that picture of my giant fingers on that tiny screen. Now imaging how bad my gesture experience is. I don’t get it. It’s like the passive stylus builders have bought off the engineering teams of the phone to not solve the tall man’s finger problem, and rather that we have to carry, and hopefully not use, another stylus!!! WTF!!!!! This is a 100,000 times worst than using an iPhone without a stylus. How did you not fix this over a decade ago?!

MS Hardware for Surface Duo

  1. Dumb dumber dumbass
    1. Sure my Surface Duo is thinner than my iPhone 8 Plus with its chunky case…. However:
      1. Head dunk the PO into a can and kick them to the curb for now adding a MM or two to the design and drop NFC on one side and Wireless charging on the other. I mean, seriously, 2 mils would not have been a game stopper for most of us.
    2. WTF is with the short battery life of that slim pen?!?! Never again. Getting a regular surface stylus. Having the slim one die mid-discussion is Dumb-AF.
  2. This one is OtterBox. WHAT THE FRACK WERE YOU THINKING WITH THAT DUMB-AF pen holder?? It doesn’t fit. A 3” diameter cable bolt does not fit in a 3 mil nail hole, and neither do either my Slim stylus or my normal surface stylus!!! What is it supposed to fix, birth control for parakeets?
  3. This is a missed opportunity for either MS or Otterbox, which either can fix, and I will be happy.
    1. Back in the early days of wireless charging, it was a 1 mil shield that I would attach to the back of my phone, plug it into my phone’s port, and watch it work. How is this not an aftermarket part for the Surface Duo? And why didn’t you make one that also supported the NFC. MS should have funded the design and development, and Otterbox produce and distribute. This is like the STUPIDEST MARKETING AND PRODUCT OWNERSHIP MISTAKE IN YEARS!

I’m not done, but this is good enough for now.

Last Note: I actually like the hardware on the phone. Though if droid patches don’t fix these issue, I may jailbreak it, and load up mobile Linux, then go get another iPhone.

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