A letter to my lesser self for 2018

A message to O Man.

I see you O man, sitting there beaming with your own delight over that which you had nothing to do with.

What you may ask could I be talking about?

You were with an affliction, one that would not heal, and you bellowed and wailed all night and day, then God healed you.

While in your private life, you profusely thanked God, day and night, keeping such healing a secret. But your friends and family knew of the affliction.

They knew that you appeared as a godly man, espousing his riches and his promises in the day, and cursing your own body at night. You would wear the mask of a holy man, without blemish in the sun, but in the shadows you would fight by your own hand and labor over the affliction.

O man, how your labors were in vain. How your toiles were of no use, and in the end you collapsed into a crying despair. You blubbered as a little child before God, reciting partial hymns and broken bits of Psalms, choosing them as if they were spells and magic, rather than finally turning to the living fountain of living waters that is Elohim, The All Mighty God.

O man, your prayers were heard, and answered. You were relieved of your burden of the affliction, and yet, publicly you lied, not once, or twice, but dozens upon dozens of times. You hid the glory of God from your lips, and the praise for your healing from your tongue, that other would find comfort in your words. The words that are the evidence of the Living God. The Father of His chosen people. The God who is El Shaddai, God Almighty!

But you hid him from people that you fear their ridicule. You hide his word from their ears because they might turn from you as a stranger would from an insane man. You fear being alone.

How can a God, who is so gentile, and loving, to remove such a minor affliction when you finally turn to Him decide to not take care of you in all things as he has promised.

O man, you are a fool. You have proven to you again and again the authority of Adonai, the Lord, and yet you still walk as those who are amongst the dead. You feet have no life and stumble, because they are on broken ground that can hold no support. O man, turn from such pettiness, and return to Elohim, that you may walk on the Rock, that he provided, which has the clear path, and can hold many supports to make your walk strong.

I now warn you O man, as I turn from this mirror, God’s patience is great, but time will run out, and your fruit that you bear will be all you have at the harvest.

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