What are these terms, as used here?
Disappointment is emotional response to getting a result that is less than you had intended for your emotional investment.
Conflict is the emotional result from contrasting views in an emotional investment.
What do you mean?
I am not going to tell you to stop getting emotionally invested, but it is wiser to choose what you are going to get emotionally invested in.
A fact, truth, or event, does not disappoint. However, the source can, especially if they are wrong about that information. Wrong does not even have to be a case where the information is completely contrary to the original facts, but can also be that there are missing details, or miss-perceived details that have to be considered.
If you are not willing to consider these positions, then you will find yourself disappointed, not by the information, but by your emotional investment on incomplete information.
This explains why so many people, when presented with the truth, get agitated rather than make the change on perception. They have that emotional investment in their old perception.
This also explains some of the conflict that arises from exposing the truth. If the receiver isn’t willing to consider the new truth, then they will choose conflict over truth.
How do we change people then?
That is the wrong question. The real question is, how do we change our presentation to defeat disappointment, and prevent conflict?
- Don’t tell people they are wrong.
- When you claim someone is wrong, you are automatically conflicting with them. This form of conflict shouldn’t be harmful is applied correctly, but when applied generally, it can end discussions.
- Ask them how they came to that conclusion.
- Sometimes their conclusion isn’t wrong, but is not communicated well at all. Walk them through their details, so that you can understand why they have that conclusion.
- Sometimes their conclusion is wrong, but they won’t see it until they see the flaws in their path. A common one is circular argument. I am right, because I am always right.
- Sometimes their conclusion is wrong simply because they had no emotional investment in gathering facts, and you have an opportunity to spark that interest.
- Walk them through your view.
- Sometimes people just don’t want to, or have ever thought of their reasoning, and don’t plan on starting. So take this opportunity and walk them through yours. Keep it interesting, people like to be entertained while learning.
- People don’t want to be alone.
- Someone could agree with you, and follow your logic all the way, but once they leave your presence, they are lost to the masses. Keep them welcomed into your world. Stay involved. Motivate them to talk with you about dissenting thoughts, so that you have the opportunity to keep them on tract.
There is more here, but just these four points, and the clarity on human psyche should make your time teaching Freedom! that much easier.
Christian Freedom! logo has a blatantly horrible flaw. I will have to fix this over the weekend.